Wednesday, October 29, 2008

How Do They Stay in Business?

UPS = UnParallelled Stupidity

I hear my kid's bus rolling up the street and hurriedly go out to meet it. I open my storm door, step outside (descending one step) and roll my ankle on a lump beneath my doormat, nearly falling.

What the heck was that?

UPS, in their infinite wisdom, delivered a package and concealed it beneath my doormat. Hel-lo!! How am I supposed to see a package under the mat from inside the house? How f---ing stupid can someone be?

I'm just thankful that I'm the one that tripped and not some visiting neighbor or -- Heaven forbid -- a lawyer-turned-politician canvassing for last-minute votes.

I have no idea what's inside this box or whether I damaged anything with my descending size-eleven foot. Once I reach The Oracle, I'll check the contents. I don't want to open it without him in case it's something related to his work or volunteering.

Edited to add: I opened the box. It's a six-pound, unsolicited catalog. I nearl took a header for junk mail!!


--V said...

That was probably some attempt at anti-theft. They weren't hiding it from you so much as they were trying to make sure someone didn't see your package on the doorstep and make off with it. They're not allowed to put it in the mail box. If they do, and the post office gets hold of it, they will make you pay postage as if they were the ones who delivered it.

Also, nothing says "nobody's home" like a package on the doorstep all day.

But still, that was a pretty stupid place to put it.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

But was it a 6 pound catalog of PRADA items?

Hallie :)

Just Me said...

I understand the delivery person's intentions, but every other time a package similar in size arrived, I found it placed between the front doors.

It wouldn't fit in the mail box anyway.

This is my third weird experience with UPS over the years.

The first was a watch we had repaired and returned via UPS. They delivered it to my neighbor across the street. At that time, my house wasn't clearly numbered, so I let it go.

The second was an order from Lands' End that was inexplicably delivered three houses away up the street. The box was clearly marked and so was/is my house.


Unfortunately, Hallie, it wasn't. It was a catalog for an auction we have no intention of attending. The Oracle belongs to a historical society, and the auction house got his name from their lists. Nice stuff, but nothing we can afford.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

See...I KNEW you truly appreciated Morbid Mondays!!

Hallie :)

Erika said...

I have been in a blood feud with UPS for the last two years. (You can verify this on Stapling Jello.) I'm just amazed that someone is actually having a problem with UPS delivering something. In my experience, the biggest problem is them failing to deliver. So maybe they're getting better, in some weird way.