Saturday, May 23, 2009

Just for Hallie



Sorry, Hallie, but immediately after thinking, "Holy #&@%!!!" I thought of you. Your feelings on arachnids are well known in these here Blogger parts.

I spotted this little gem on the wall of my front porch. By the time I went inside for the camera and a ruler, it scuttled into the corner by the step.

I wondered whether I should squash it out of existence. I seriously considered doing so, even though my cardinal rule for such "wildlife" is that it's allowed to exist as long as it isn't where I eat or sleep.

But, see, look at it. It's not just any spider, it's one of those streamlined, super-speedy models, the kind that, if it's in your house, you mustn't lose sight of or you'll never sleep again.


And, yep, it's huge.

There was only one other thing that kept me from slapping it with my shoe, and I'm not sure a simple shoe slap would have been enough.

The crunch.

Hon's method for avoiding crunch during bug mashing is to let out a long, loud yell during which the shoe comes down. That's fine for a quick kill on the wall or the floor, but Mr. Spider tucked himself into a corner. There's no easy way to kill a bug in a corner, especially one this big. If I were actually lucky enough to hit it without getting crawled on, it's clear that by the time I would have finished him off with screaming and slapping, a posse of police cars would have converged on my driveway.

I let it go.

Maybe he's on his way to Maine.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I like spiders. I have a secret wish that one of my kids will want a tarantuala for a pet. E

Just Me said...

Actually, tarantulas are pretty interesting creatures. I wouldn't mind one of YOUR kids having one as a pet either.

I understand how the food chain works in the natural world, but I'd have a hard time feeding one living thing to another. There's something horribly unfair about throwing prey in a locked box with its predator. In the wild, Prey at least has some hope of escaping the food chain for a day.

Bina said...

Holy Crap!!! Came here via Hallies by the way.

So what kind of spider is that???? Do you know? Did you look it up?? I would HAVE to know! And I probably would have tried to catch it and taken it far, far away and let it go, cause I wouldn't step on something that big either!!!!!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I just died a little inside...

Hallie

Coffee Bean said...

oh... oh... oh... no you didn't!!! My head is a swivelin'. AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! How could you let that monster go?!?!? HOLY CRAP!!! I don't know how you sleep at night. Oh. my. gosh.

OH. MY. GOSH.

If I ever see a spider like that I am going to kill it and mail its dead body back to you!!!