The House Fairy

I didn't realize how good he is at dodging a camera until I needed a picture for this post. I scrounged through four years' worth of photos on my hard drive, and this is the only semi-front shot of my father-in-law that I can find. It's a shame, because he's rather good-looking, even at sixty-something and taxed as he is by DEB's antics.

I realize that the term "fairy" has become one with a negative connotation, but for my father-in-law, the name is meant to convey that he's forever surprising me, much like the Tooth Fairy.

He gained this moniker a number of years back when he found himself unemployed after the company he worked for went under. The House Fairy may like to sleep late (and DEB rarely lets him these days), but in his waking hours he needs to have his mind or hands engaged in some useful task. Being suddenly unemployed nearly drove him nuts.

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DEB was a few years away from her stroke, so his "something to do" often involved tinkering with our house. I'd come home from work and find little things repaired, like new weather stripping around the door or a latch that was no longer rattly, and my father-in-law nowhere in sight. Who was that masked repairman?

Once he'd found a new job, his repair-and-run visits were less frequent, but he always made himself available for stuff outside The Oracle's skills.

Oh, but then he retired. Now he was idle full time and once again going slightly stir crazy. Before DEB"s stroke he rewired our house, installed outlets throughout our basement, and he later did the same for our garage. He spent a good portion of last summer repairing and restoring my great-grandmother's cast-iron cook stove, which spent a good chunk of the last ten years in pieces scattered about our garage and back porch.

His current project, sparked a bit by this stove but more likely the skyrocketing price of fuel, is researching the purchase and installation of a coal-fired furnace to replace our current oil system. While baby-sitting my kids, he's making all sorts of phone calls, taking measurements, and scouring brochures from different dealers. Once we get our desktop back online, I suspect he'll do a lot of that stuff on the Internet.

When I return home from a deposition (during which he and DEB are watching our offspring), I often find my kitchen is fairly shiny and the dishwasher is running. The trash is emptied and the cans are at the curb waiting for the next day's collection. Sometimes our grass is cut and the poop is scooped. The other week he regrouted the bathtub.

In one respect, it makes me feel horribly guilty, but I am so happy to come home and find these little (and sometimes big) things done.

In light of all this, a mere "thank you" seems so lame. The occasional dinner or DEB-sitting Saturday isn't enough. Frankly, I don't know what we'd do without him. This Father's Day, I'd really like to bless him somehow, but I'm not sure what we can do. If anyone out there has any ideas, I'd sure like to hear them.